Out of Character Read online

  Chapter Two

  Milo

  The cold of a New Jersey winter smacked me in the face as soon as I exited the game shop, but the chill in the air was nothing compared to Jasper’s frosty expression when I’d asked him for help.

  You think I’ve forgotten? Jasper clearly hadn’t. Every mistake and transgression from high school had been there in his eyes. Every time I could have done things differently. All the moments I’d replayed in my head for years. Jasper wasn’t the only one with a long memory. I remembered, too, remembered his cluttered basement playroom, the hours and hours we’d spent there. We’d been so in sync back then, him ready with the exact piece I’d needed at the perfect moment to complete our latest Lego build. Everything had been so much simpler, no need to ask…

  Hell. I paused in front of the stationery store a few doors down to try to regroup. I hated needing help. Hated it. I’d needed far too much assistance in the last year, and every time I resolved to fix my own problems, some new situation would crop up to kick me where it hurt. And okay, some of that was my own doing. I could admit that. I’d been drinking the night before and was distracted in a way I didn’t really want to examine too closely right then.

  I’m so glad you came.

  You’re so good at this game. Like scary good.

  Come on, don’t you like a friendly bet, pretty boy?

  I won fair and square. Unless there’s something else you’d like to put on the table?

  And there hadn’t been. Even buzzed, I hadn’t missed how George’s voice had gone from warm and welcoming to cold and calculating. And in a single harsh look, I’d gone from distracted to heartsick, intuition kicking in a few hours too late. Not to mention literally sick, too, puking in the bushes, my notoriously weak stomach registering its opinion of what had gone down.

  Such an idiot. I had to stop myself from beating my head into the exterior brick of the stationery store. The holidays were over, but the window featured a bunch of whimsical angels. My mom would love all the merchandise on display, and simply thinking about her gave me a sick, hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach. She too was going to be horribly disappointed in me. Again.

  What is it this time, Milo? I could almost hear her too-weary voice, the one that said she’d been dreading this latest screwup. My fingers skated over the edge of the phone in my pocket. I could call her. Get it over with. Maybe she’d have better advice than Jasper after she finished being sad. Again. A-freaking-gain.

  Chances were also high that she’d attempt to dip into money she didn’t have to try to make this right. I withdrew my hand. I was going to have to solve this on my own.

  In the window, a notebook cover featured a particularly celestial-looking guardian angel, and the same sick stomach I’d been battling all day roiled again. Where had mine been last night? Mom was always saying that Dad was my guardian angel now, but I’d seldom felt as alone as I did right then. No Dad. No guardian angel. No common sense. Ten thousand dollars. Wasn’t that what Jasper had said? For cardboard. Seriously?

  I had only one thing worth that kind of money, and I sure as hell wasn’t parting with it, no matter how much I’d screwed up. And he’d said something about a hunt too. Research. I had a stack of less-than-awesome grades showing how much I sucked at that skill. Jasper would know, though. He’d always been wicked smart, fingers flying over the keyboard, sharp mind organizing search results while my brain was still sputtering. I supposed there were other genius gamers I could try to recruit to help, but if the incident with George had taught me anything, it was that I couldn’t trust my instincts about people.

  And Jasper might die mad at me, but he was also honest to a fault. And nice. He’d never take advantage of even his worst enemy. Who was apparently me. Damn it. I wasn’t giving up, though. I’d wait until his shift ended, try again.

  It was cold, but I’d been in worse, and at least it wasn’t actively snowing or sleeting. Luckily, I had gloves and a hat in my pockets, so I went around to the alley that ran behind the row of downtown shops. Sure enough, the old beater hunk of metal that Jasper called a car was parked in one of the spots behind the gaming store. Finding a convenient concrete planter to lean against, I settled in to wait, but I hadn’t been there long when my phone buzzed.

  Bruno’s face flashed on the lock screen, and I almost dropped the phone. Hell. My pulse raced, my stomach rebelling all over again. I could let the call go to voicemail, but that was the way of a coward. Bruno got so little time to call home that Mom and I always made a point of answering if at all possible. He was out there saving everyone’s asses and keeping us safe. The least I could do was pick up the phone.

  “Hey, Bro.” I tried to keep my voice steady, play it cool.

  “Hey. I’ve only got a few minutes here, but I wanted to check in on my favorite baby brother.” The phone crackled with every third word, but still the warmth in his voice came through loud and clear. His voice was deeper than mine, more naturally authoritative without trying. “How’s it going?”

  “Fine.” Maybe the less I said, the better.

  “Only fine?” Bruno’s tone shifted, concern replacing the easy warmth. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, of course. Nothing for you to worry about.” I sped up, trying to convince both of us at the same time. “Job’s going well. They said they might have more hours for me.”

  “Good. I knew when I told Juan about you needing work that you’d make me proud.”

  “Trying.” God. Like I needed a reminder of all Bruno had done for me. He could have washed his hands of me a half dozen favors ago, but he was Bruno, full of patience and intrinsically good, a better person than I’d ever be. Jobs for a college dropout with an iffy record had been in short supply, but Bruno had leaned on his old buddy from high school to get me work in the online shipping warehouse. Decent hourly wage and health insurance, which had been the main incentive for me.

  “Excellent. How’s the leg holding up?”

  “Fine. I mean, it doesn’t really hurt these days,” I lied. Rehab on my surgically repaired leg was a work in expensive progress, but the last thing I was going to do was complain to a guy who routinely dodged actual bullets.

  “You’re a fighter, that’s for damn sure. When I first saw you after the accident… Well, never mind that. Proud of you.”

  And that right there was reason number one why I needed to get Bruno his cards back. He’d been my first call that terrible night, and never once had he complained about having to be the one to tell Mom or all the ways, big and small, that he’d had to help me in the months that followed.

  “Thanks. And, uh…you hanging in there?” I never knew precisely how to ask about his work.

  “Yup. You can tell Mom I’m keeping my head about me. Don’t worry her, but shit’s been real here.” There was an edge to his voice that hadn’t been there a second before, but then he exhaled hard. “Anyway, I’m hoping to get word that we’ll be heading back to the States soon. Can’t wait to see you both. Think you’ll be up for an Odyssey game?”

  “Maybe,” I hedged, bile rising in my throat.

  “It was fun, right? Nice to have something to do now that kicking the ball around is out…”

  Soccer had been his sport first, then mine, and something we could always share. Except I’d gone and ruined that too.

  “Yeah. It wasn’t bad. Fun game.”

  “And you’re a natural. Got those killer reflexes left over from the field.”

  Oh God. Panic joined the nausea party. A natural. George had said that too. And I’d been my usual cocky self and believed him. And look where that had gotten me.

  “I’m not that great. Not like you.”

  “Hey, you’ll get there. I’ll show you more about deck building when I’m home. We’ll go through all my cards, maybe have a beer now that you’re actually legal.”

  “Sounds good.” I had
no idea how I managed to get the reply out without croaking.

  “Soon.” Bruno said the word like a prayer, and I knew he’d be in mine later. Real shit indeed. I wanted him home safe in the worst way.

  “Soon,” I echoed. This was it. I really was going to retch now. I was a crap brother and worse human. Bruno had asked for one thing after all he’d done for me, and I’d fucked it up.

  A voice sounded from near Bruno. “Lionetti. Gotta go, man.”

  “Time’s up.” Bruno sounded weary, like Mom at the end of a long day. My chest ached as surely as if he’d landed a fist there. “Take care.”

  “Stay safe, Bruno.” No way could I fess up, not right then, not with him heading out to God knew what danger.

  “I try.” And then he was gone, and I was left holding the phone, my entire body hurting like I’d been laid flat on the asphalt. In a way I had. I had to get those cards back. Whatever it took. Even if it meant—

  “Milo?” Jasper emerged from the back of the game shop, wearing a bulky duffel coat and carrying a backpack that appeared to be more colorful patches than canvas. “What are you doing here?”

  “Waiting for you.” I was too wrung out from the call with Bruno to come up with anything other than the truth.

  “Figured.” Jasper’s voice was marginally less hostile than earlier. As before, he looked…different than last time I’d seen him. Older. Good in a way that I hadn’t been prepared for. Less scrawny for sure—more filled-out shoulders and defined arms that I’d tried like heck not to notice while he was stocking boxes. And failed miserably. His voice was more adult too. Firmer. “Was that Bruno on the phone?”

  “Yeah. He’s on some top-secret mission. Needs me to tell Mom not to worry.” I gave a harsh laugh. “And needs me to be less of a dumbass, but what else is new?”

  “You did screw up pretty spectacularly.” Jasper shook his head like he was admiring the wreckage of my life.

  “I did,” I agreed mournfully. “And now I need help.”

  “So you said.” Jasper paused, gaze dropping to my phone, almost as if he expected Bruno to emerge from it, special forces gear and all. “And I can’t believe I’m going to say this—”

  “Please.” My eyes squished shut as I did some major-league bargaining with the universe.

  “My help is worth something. What you’re asking for, it’s not five minutes of work—”

  “I know. I’m not asking you to do it for free.” My head did a ridiculous bobble as I tried to will him toward a yes. And paying him would be hard, but I’d make it happen. Anything to avoid disappointing Bruno yet again.

  “Good. Because I might have a proposition for you.”

  Relief coursed through me, so swift and overwhelming that my eyes stung from more than the cold. I had no idea what he was going to ask for, but I was going to do my damnedest to give it to him, even if it sucked.

  Chapter Three

  Jasper

  Milo looked like he was in serious risk of passing out right there on the frozen asphalt behind the game store. I hadn’t seen him that upset since freshman year of high school when we’d had our last real conversation—a fight that had left me in a billion pieces. I’d shattered exactly like a rocket we’d worked on once, a freak collapse destroying days and days of work, except that time it had been years of friendship crumbling.

  * * *

  “I don’t get why you can’t sit with us.” My voice had done the wavering thing I hated on the walk home from school. I’d left school alone, Milo popping up two blocks into my trek, all cagey about why he hadn’t been at the lockers like usual.

  “Because the team sits together.” The team. God. I was already sick of hearing about the soccer team and definitely sick of Milo’s reverent tone when he talked about his teammates. “I may be JV now, but Coach says if I keep working, I’ll be the first freshman to make varsity. I need to be one of the guys right now.”

  “But you were one of us.” He’d sat with our crowd all through middle school and the first part of freshman year. Sure, the school was bigger, but we’d had the same core friend group for years now. We talked about our favorite games and complained about our least favorite classes, same as always, even though we didn’t have many classes other than lunch together. But then he’d gone and made the soccer team, and everything had changed. I hated it.

  He bit his lip, tongue darting out to soothe where his teeth had been, making my stomach do flippy things even as I knew I wasn’t going to like what came next.

  “I’m not a gamer. Not really. And I’m not gunning for honor society and math team like you guys. Coach says I’ll probably get a scholarship somewhere even if my grades aren’t all that. I’m just not a…”

  “Nerd,” I finished for him. “You don’t want to be seen with the nerds.”

  “No!” Milo squawked, but something about his protest rang empty. “I can message you.”

  “Message? Like, why can’t you talk to me at school? Or hang out at our houses like always. I don’t get it.” Coming to a stop at an intersection, I pivoted on my heel, staring him down, daring him to tell me I’d been imagining his weirdness lately.

  “I don’t think you should come over because… You know. You went to that meeting. The one for that club.” He’d gone paler now and his voice was faint.

  Heck. I never should have told him about that. I’d built it up to this huge deal in my brain the first part of the year, but then I’d finally gone on a day when Milo had had practice after school, and it had been totally fine. “The rainbow alliance? That one? There were like maybe fifteen people there—”

  “But other people noticed.” Milo’s face had gone pale, lending a sickly cast to his skin. He looked like he had after we’d ridden that huge roller coaster last summer, right before he puked up his guts. But unlike then, I had zero sympathy.

  “You mean your jock friends noticed. And now you can’t be seen with me?”

  “It’s not about what my friends on the team might think,” he said, even though it undoubtedly was. “My parents might find out too. My dad… Never mind. It’s nothing. Maybe everyone will just get over it.”

  He didn’t sound too sure, and the way his voice had wavered on the word nothing told me everything I needed to know. He was scared to be seen with me, and it wasn’t simply about me being too nerdy for the jock crowd.

  Now my own stomach lurched. Others might get over it, but somehow I knew deep inside that I wouldn’t. Not ever.

  He kept going. “And in the meantime, we can message and stuff.”

  Somehow I found the strength to straighten my shoulders, harden my stare, and toughen up my voice. “I’m not going to be your secret. That’s not cool. Either we’re friends or we’re not.”

  * * *

  I could still see his face as I’d walked away that day. His lips had been pale, but his cheeks were stained red, and his dark eyes had been hollow, an emptiness there that still haunted me.

  “Anything. Whatever you need,” Milo promised now even before I had a chance to lay out the bargain I was 100 percent sure he wouldn’t take.

  “Not so fast,” I warned, holding up a hand. “You’re not going to like this. But I need a Prince Neptune.”

  He blinked. “A prince who?”

  “Prince Neptune. Only the most iconic character in Odyssey. The one on all the set boxes? The one starring in their novel series?”

  “I’ll take your word for it.” He nodded rapidly. “So, you need his card? I can’t part with more of Bruno’s stuff—”

  “No, I need him,” I corrected. And to be fair, Milo wasn’t the only one I expected to hate this plan. I had no freaking clue why I was even having this conversation other than that I’d had four more texts from April and one from my friend Kellan while I’d been at work. Everyone was counting on my ability to find a Neptune, and I really wanted to
deliver on my promise. And okay, Milo wouldn’t have been my first or hundredth choice, but then I’d heard him on the phone with Bruno, all sad. My better instincts had fled, leaving me here with this most ridiculous plan. “I’m part of a cosplay group. We go to different events as our favorite Odyssey characters—cons, tournaments, parties, that sort of thing. And we have a regular gig at the children’s hospital. We go to see the older kids, play cards with the ones who feel up to it, take pictures with others. It’s fun.”

  “Uh-huh.” Eyes wide, Milo clearly didn’t share my definition of fun. But that was fine. He didn’t have to like this idea. In fact, it was probably better if he didn’t, if he turned it down flat. We could both move on with our day that way, and at least I could say I’d tried.

  “Whatever. We love it. The kids love it, too, and they’re expecting us Wednesday, but our Neptune is doing a semester abroad and the backup my friend found fell through.”

  “It’s for kids?” Milo sounded slightly less reluctant. I, however, refused to let myself soften toward him simply because he was still a big softie for little kids in need. He’d always been good with baby April back before everything went sideways.

  “Yup. April’s involved in the group too. She’s counting on me.” I wasn’t going to beg, but I also wasn’t above using his sympathies here. “I’ve got the costume for you. Our regular guy left it with me. The kids are expecting to see Prince Neptune on Wednesday.”

  “I, uh…I’m not scheduled to work that day.” Milo sounded less than certain, but it wasn’t a no.

  “You have to wear the costume. Like, the whole time, no chickening out and no running from pics. That wouldn’t be cool.”

  He gave a sharp nod. “If I do that, if I pretend to be this Neptune guy, you’ll help me?”

  His eyes were wide and pleading, and I hated the pull they had on me, the way they made me want to help without exacting my price. “After. After you cosplay with us, and if you’re not a dick about it, then sure, we can do some hunting online, see what’s out there.”